Our Journey to Sexual Awakening and Fulfillment

Sexual AwakeningMy wife and I are excited to start a new journey of Sexual Awakening. I wanted to write this to let you know why I’m here and why I invited my wife to join with me.

By way of introduction, we are Heather and Nick. We have been married since 1984. Like all couples we know (even the ones that are less than truthful), we have our share of ups and downs. The ups usually last much longer than the downs. We’re thankful that God has put us on this earth and that we found each other. Through Him, we’ve created an eternal bond highlighted by wonderful children and grandchildren. Our cup, indeed, runneth over.

Our Sexual Awakening

I have already written and submitted one story that tells a little about why we created this website. It’s called “Masturbation Fantasy”. Click here for that story.

We are very excited to share our stories here. I have already written several and will submit them in due time. Heather will join me. We are going to write about our individual lives, from our own perspective, and save our work in a shared file. Once the file is saved, we can open each other’s files and add our own perspective to what the other wrote. We hope this will be fun and exciting, not only for us, but for all who choose to read our stories.


Why did we choose to create and run this site? First, the context. I enjoy the context of what this site is about. I’ve read comments from people who look at this site as simple pornography. I believe there is a small bit of truth to that. Sharing what we do in our bedroom does have a hint of something that may not be approved of by the God we believe in. But that’s up to Heather and me to decide in prayerful thought and through our lifetime wisdom. We have chosen to be a part of this community and take an active role for reasons explained below.


Second is the content. What separates this site from some other sites I have visited is the open, honest, real people who are sharing their lives through stories. As I read, I can feel the pain, hurt, sadness, guilt, shame, sorrow, and other difficult emotions in some of the stories. I can also feel the love, joy, happiness, fulfillment, closeness, contentment, and other very positive emotions as well. These stories are not just about couples having sex. They’re about couples sharing their most sacred gift with each other which, in turn, help other married couples see how they can expand their own intimacy and closeness. I’m very pleased with this attitude.

Sharing this site with my wife has already paid dividends for us. We’ve reveled in each other through our storied and the stories of others. We’ve also been writing our own stories to post for others to read. Each story we have written has created a collective desire we’ve never felt, followed by passionate love making and hot sex (yes, there is a difference between the two). The result has been us becoming closer and more committed to each other.

This site is helping Heather come out of her 50+ year old sexual shell. The value we have experienced has been worth every minute we’ve spent so far. For me, I was raised in a less than loving family and it has been a struggle for me to show Heather my love without her believing it’s all about the physical act of sex. I’ve always looked for ways to help bring my beautiful Heather out of her sexual shell and help myself be able to show my love for her in non-sexual ways.

We were both raised in small, rural towns in the west. We grew up about 250-300 miles apart and met on a blind date just after my 18th birthday. I fell in love instantly and I think she’d tell you that she felt her heart flutter as well.

Heather: [nodding in agreement]

Growing up in small ultra-religious towns, we were both bombarded with the standard “sex is bad” message. For Heather it was also, “good girls don’t do that”. While I don’t really believe that we were raised to believe sex is bad, it seems to come across that way when one is trying to teach morality in an immoral world.

Since becoming an adult and learning about sexuality, I have often wondered why our ministers don’t teach from the Song of Solomon over the pulpit. We believe in the Bible as the word of God. Song of Solomon is in the Bible. What’s the deal? Why are we not taught at church to celebrate our sexuality as married, monogamous couples in the Biblical context of faithfulness, commitment, loyalty, love, honor, and spirituality? I’ve always been a little perplexed by this. It seems that once a couple gets married, teaching of spiritual, sexual relationships is abandoned by religious leaders in our communities.

Where are we to get our leadership and guidance? Unfortunately, in matters sexual, too many turn to pornography. Why? Because it’s there. It’s enticing. It’s arousing. It does something for us that we don’t get anywhere else. Also unfortunate is that most times, it’s done in secret and leads to dishonesty and loss of trust in the marriage vows. I know this from personal experience. To be honest, I actually started seeking out pornography after marriage to share with Heather so we could enjoy it as part of our bedroom activities. She found it disgusting and wanted no part of it. When things turned a little sour between us, I would turn to porn to satisfy my needs.

Heather has been affected profoundly by the “sexual” teachings of her parents and leaders from her childhood and teenage years. Once we were married, we’ve had no guidance from any of our spiritual leaders. In fact, about the only spiritual guidance I’ve seen from our spiritual leaders is when a couple is at the end of their rope and wanting to divorce. But even then, I don’t think the counselling they are providing really focuses on the sexual boundaries that individuals in a marriage place between themselves and their spouse. Sexual boundaries should be explored and investigated the same as spiritual and temporal boundaries. If it is faithful, and remains between a husband and wife, sexual bonding creates a vehicle to the overall health of the marriage relationship.

My issues have been much different from Heather’s. I was raised in a less than loving family. I didn’t learn what unconditional love looked like when I was growing up. I don’t blame my parents. They did much better than their parents did for them. My parents stayed together for 56 years before my mother passed away a few years ago. That was a great testament to me to do whatever I need to remain humble, and be the man my wife wants to be married to.

But it has been difficult for me. For the longest time, I couldn’t accept the love Heather was so willing to share. I didn’t like lingering hugs. We actually have a phrase for my hugging technique called the “hug and push” as I would literally push her away if a hug lasted “too long”. For me, long kisses were an invitation for a romp in the hay. I was messed up and had to learn to love, not just Heather, but myself.

Sex was my way of expressing my deep and abiding love for Heather. But because of my hang-ups with kissing and hugging, she has often felt like my “whore”. She has expressed many times that she’s just a “hole” for me to stick my penis into. That would always cut me to the core because it was so far from the truth. I have loved Heather since the first weekend we met. It wasn’t until we were married for nearly 30 years, in a couples counselling session, that Heather realized how my actions over the years were, indeed, my way of expressing my deep love for her.

We learn from others

With all our hang-ups now on the table, I can say that the third reason we decided to be a part of this amazing family is for the therapeutic value we can both get from it. Just by being open minded and agreeing to give it a shot, Heather has shown some very real growth in her sexual awakening. For me, I read the stories and see real men showing affection and tenderness to their wives. It shows me that I can be tender and affectionate with Heather and not only retain my feelings of being “manly”, but realize that showing those feelings in a physical way actually makes me MORE “manly”.

Keeping it Real

The fourth reason we decided to share our lives here is that in reading the stories of others, I don’t envision a fat, sweaty, old man in his boxer shorts, unshaven, unkempt, eating Cheetos, and drinking beer, sitting at his computer typing, “I never thought that anything like this could ever happen to me but I met a sexy young woman who was a knock out. She had firm, perky breasts that just demanded to be played with …” (Yeah, I already admitted that I’ve had experience with porn. It ain’t pretty.)

This site is a complete opposite of other sites offering erotic stories. When reading the stories here, I see Heather and myself. I see couples that look like us. I see a man with 20-30 extra pounds, beer belly, but a real man, a hard working man, with a home, kids, and fun activities. I see a woman who is no longer a bikini model, has stretch marks from her years bearing children with the rapid weight gain, not much makeup, hair isn’t in perfect, tight curls, wearing a t-shirt and sweat pants. I see real people, just like us.

When you read our stories, you’ll see my descriptions of Heather. I use words like “perfect” to describe her body. I use that word because, for me, her body is perfect. When we married, she was a serious 8-9 on the 10 point scale. She’s not that girl any more. She’s all woman. She had smallish, firm breasts with tiny, pointy nipples. Her breasts are now drained and a little saggy. Her nipples are large and protrude from her breasts about a half an inch. This comes from breast feeding five kids. Those kids sucked the breasts right out of her. But to me, her breasts are still perfect and I enjoy playing with, sucking, nibbling, and licking them just as much as I did on our wedding day. She’s the mother of 5. That’s how they should look.

Her tummy, once flat and lean, is now a little jiggly and doesn’t ride flat under her clothes anymore. Where it was once smooth, it is now covered with stretch marks. Those stretch marks come from holding five kids in her womb for 9 months as they grew and tore her body apart from the inside. Again, she’s perfect to me. I will always admire her for allowing her body to be “ruined” by having children. They are our pride and joy.

Her butt sags. Her face has wrinkles and worry lines. Her hair is grey under the dark brunette dye she puts in it. Her vagina is stretched and not tight as it was on our wedding night when she gave me the greatest gift a woman can give a man; her virtue and virginity. As she puts it when we’re making love and I am inside her, “It’s like you’re swinging a bat in an open doorway”. Again, she’s passed 5 children through that opening and we had large children. Out smallest was nearly 8 lbs and the largest was almost 10. I love being inside her “open doorway” swinging my “bat”. She’s perfect. And she makes me feel perfect.

Me? I’m still the 6’2”, 220 lb athletic hunk of a man I was when we married. I haven’t changed a bit. Other than looking like a cue ball as my hair left me not long after we married. I also hit 300 lbs a few years ago. I lost nearly 80 of that but have gained half of it back. I don’t work much due to health issues that, from the outside looking in, people may assume that I’m lazy and I don’t pull my weight. I have serious issues with my thought processes and get tired and frustrated easily. But Heather loves me and, while not wanting to speak out of school, she thinks I’m perfect.

She nodded. I LOVE THIS WOMAN!

This is NOT a pornography site

Finally, the last thing we have to reconcile is our belief that this site is not a porn site and we’re letting our God down by being a part of it. I trust Heather in spiritual matters. If she says she’s good with this site because it helps us to achieve our Godly charge to be the best husband and wife to each other, I believe when we meet God in the afterlife, he’ll pat us on the back and tell us, “Well done, my good and faithful servants.” This is OUR ministry and we’re proud of what we’ve created.

I thank God regularly for bringing Heather to me. She’s the kindest, most loving, giving, sexiest, perfect woman I could have asked for. I am very blessed. And now we can both thank Him for bringing us to this site where we can not only learn from other good, like minded Christian people, hopefully some of you will see yourselves in us and, through our experiences, we can help you in your journey as well.

Each story we’ve read together has touched not only our baser, carnal souls, but also our spiritual souls. Each feed our Godliness. Even as our baser and carnal souls are being fed by these stories, I believe we are fulfilling God’s law to become “one flesh” with our spouses. One writer described it best in a post when he said, “I discovered that [Married Heat] is hot and sexy! The raw eroticism that exists between the spouses is described beautifully – but it is always about “their” eroticism together! The stories touch us. They make husbands’ cocks get hard and wives’ pussies wet! Why? They are real and erotic. We can easily identify with our own relationship.”

Heather and I have been aroused and inspired. We’ve read a few of the stories as we’re making love ourselves. We’ve truly enjoyed this site in as many ways as possible. As another writer testifies in his post, “I no longer question the lust filled descriptions of the stories. I now celebrate them and give glory to God that others are enjoying this passionate longing for each other and that I too can enjoy this passionate longing in my own marriage.”

So a big “thank you” to all that have shared your stories and made yourselves “naked” first to your spouse, and, second, to the rest of us. I applaud those of you that use crude verbiage in your lovemaking and are willing to share that aspect of your lives. I also applaud those of you that may find that language offensive and keep it “cleaner”. We all have our lines we don’t cross. A well written story without the crude language is just as sexy and moving.

Heather had never used the “F” word in her life until about 10 years ago when I asked her to say “F*** me” as we were making love. She couldn’t do it. I asked her a few years later and she was able to feebly say it but it upset her so much, she sobbed later and asked me to never ask her to say it again. I never asked her again.

After reading a book about marriage relationships by Dr. Laura, she had a change of heart. She surprised me one night as I was enjoying the flavor of her sweet womanhood. She had an intense orgasm then slyly looked me in the eyes and said, “Come F*** me”. I was shocked and very aroused.

I asked her what changed her mind. She said Dr. Laura advised that if you want a happy husband in the bedroom, do the little things he asks. It’s between you and him. No one else has to know your sex language. She took it to heart.

It has become a regular part of our sex life and she’s very comfortable with it. But only in the context of our sexual relationship. She never uses the F word in any other situation … which makes it very special for us in the bedroom. I’ve been around women that can make a sailor blush. I imagine when she’s sexing up her man and says, “F*** me”, it has very little meaning for them. Me personally, the crude words spark an intensity in me that makes my orgasms more intense and fulfilling. For Heather, not so much. She uses more base language in our escapades than I do because I know it doesn’t really turn her on.

You must decide

Is this site pornography? You have to answer that question yourself. I urge you to pray to your God. Ask for His guidance. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Talk to your spouse. Read our “About Page“, “Is this site Pornography?“, and “Welcome” pages. Read the “Submission Guidelines” as well.

I invite you to register and submit a story. Again, please include your spouse in this site. I admit I was not eager to ask Heather, but she startled me with her open attitude and willingness to contribute to my writings, and also write and submit her own.

Let me recommend you start with our Wedding Day and Night story. Heather and I collaborated and created a very touching, moving, sexy account of our memories of our first night as a married couple. We wrote it as we were coming up on our 30 year anniversary. We had never really talked in any detail of our experiences. It was amazing the things we remembered and were able to share. For me, most memories were vivid. It was, by far, the best day (AND NIGHT) of my life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and get to know us. We look forward to a long relationship with you as you help us navigate this sexual storm called marriage. If our writings help anyone else in any way, we’ll be very pleased. HAPPY MARRIAGE HEAT TO ALL! AND TO ALL, GOOD LOVIN!

Heather and Nick.

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About Nick

My name is Nick. My wife is Heather. We have been married since 1984. It's not always been a strong marriage. We've had many ups and many downs. Through it all, we've remained faithful to our marriage although there have been some close encounters. We recently had some experiences that created an awakening, both spiritual and sexual. A big part of our awakening was finding a webpage filled with sexual stories from other Christians. While sexual and explicit, the stories were written by real people and their personal experiences. The stories also glorified God's gift to married couples in the bedroom. We found that we weren't alone in our triumphs or our struggles. This inspired us to create this site to help other Christian couples the way we were helped; through advice and sexy, real, hot stories of passionate monogamy and Godly sexual relationships. We hope you enjoy and become closer as couples.

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